From The First Black Friday by William Bradford, by River Clegg.

Now as it happened, in the din and the tumulte, a good and freely-thinking Aborigine did stand in his breechclouts and inquire with great clarity the reasone for such monster savings, as well as why they should expire with the sun’s setting, which seemed rather arbitrary when one thought aboute it. But these wordes did fall on ears deafened by rumours of two-for-one buckles, which could be affix’d to one’s shoe or belt, or sportingly to the front of one’s hat—a most unheard-of steale!

Disputes arose. Two men did grow entangled over the proper and true ownership of a paire of stockings, with one and the other both claiming to have mark’d the iteme first. A mirror of good qualitie shattered as two women and a boy not seven years olde contested for it, after which the danger of being cut by brokene glasse did rise considerably, and was the source of great irritance. One large man drew a warlike club, newly purchas’d perhaps, and with it brained another sharply, and then another in an effort to procure his goodes, all the while shouting “rarrr.”

Such was the bloodlust stirred by the rock-bottome prices on this blackest of Fridayes.